Retardgamer

John Miranda

Universe	Huerfano Productions
Debut	Retardgamer
Appears in	Smash Bros. Lawl Nitro
Friends	Betoid
Enemies	Irate Gamer Rainbow Dash The Darkness
Lawl Team	Team Nitro

Entrance[]

Hey! Welcome to the Retardgamer Show![]

Retardgamer starts off in the battlefield, welcoming all others to his show.

Special Attacks[]

Neutral B - Cartridges[]

Retardgamer throws and mispronounces a cartridge to his opponent, all being of the games he "reviews". They are as follows:

Maximum Carlangas - Carnage is freed from it, then flies above the stage to come crashing down like Snorlax. The catch is that Carnage is very, very small and has a slim chance of legit hitting someone.
Palta - It pops out a fruit Retardgamer can only use as a weapon whereas opponents can eat as food.
The Revolt of Zelma - It switches Retardgamer's amount of damage with the opponent that got hit. This would be recommended in case you're the highest one with damage.
Potomon - A wild Charizard appears, using Flamethrower on those around him, each blast dealing 45%.
El Tri, Part II - It doubles the opponent's strike power for 20 seconds when hit.
Vive el Adentro* - The bad Spanish pun for Bible Adventures makes the opponent laugh. No damage is done, but the opponent laughing is left open for free hits.
Track Enfermo - The opponent hit feels ill, doubling damage and knockback.
Splinter - The mere mention of Slender freezes the opponent without damage...for 25 seconds. Further usage decreases stun time by 5 seconds until it doesn't stun at all anymore.
Donkey Kontrols - The opponent is dizzy, inverting all directional movement.

The cartridge selection is random, so don't expect Retard to have much luck all around.

Side B - Attack of the Zombie Puppies[]

Retardgamer gets attacked by a zombie puppy. This is mostly useful when you fall off the stage and need vertical recovery, but it does have the risk of damage. Great damage, in fact. To stop it, press B and move in an opposing direction to literally shoot the dog. The shot will only hurt the puppy. 1 out of 10 times you will get a ghost puppy, who'll pin Retard to the ground and bite him for 10 seconds.

Up B - Transitions[]

Retardgamer starts a very, very long teleportation sequence, leaving him open for free hits. However, if the sequence succeeds, you'll end up on A. a safe spot, B. next to an opponent, or C. over a pit, leading to your likely doom.

Down B - Betoid[]

Retard calls upon Betoid. In this state, he serves as a one-hit shield that absorbs items, but reinput allows you to fight as Betoid while Retardgamer sits on his ass playing games. And of course, Betoid's got his own moveset (but he takes 3 hits that don't affect Retard's damage before being KO'd, resulting in him being benched until the next stock).

Side B - Cortometraje[]

Betoid shoots a short film at the opponent, racking up consistent damage. To prevent spam, you need to wait 10 seconds before shooting another film. There's sadly a 1 in 3 chance where you'll release a crappy short film resulting in no damage and the opponent laughing at you a la taunt.

Up B - The Retarden[]

Betoid installs a console, and a TV appears at random. Unlike The Borean, 10% damage is dealt every 5 seconds Retard spends "reviewing" the game from his neutral special. Alas, like The Borean, you can easily stop this move by breaking either the system or the TV, leading to you waiting 20 seconds before reinstalling either one. If the console is destroyed, the TV blows up, harming everyone in the process while Retardgamer gets an extra 15%. If the stage has no chairs, Retard loses a stock and sits down on the respawn platform throughout Betoid's turn.

Down B - NES Controller[]

Betoid gets out an NES controller to control an opponent's down special for a few seconds. Press Y in the process to reverse the attack, or X to make it back. Unlike Mega Pinnochio, Betoid picks the opponent at random and he can't switch between them in free-for-all.

Final Smash - El Tratamiento[]

Retard says that someone should give the competition the treatment they deserve, then gets up from his chair and goes straight to his YouTube account, dragging the competition to 1 of 3 YouTube videos. You have 10 seconds to choose one of the following clips used in his "reviews", such as "Karol Dance is getting beaten up", "AVGN Takes a dump on Bugs Bunny", or "Special delivery for Vardoc". They each deliver the devastating, earth-shattering damage of 25%. It only works best if someone's at 100%. However, if it's a 1v1, Retard uses a specific clip from the opponent's source material to attack him/her.

KOSFX[]

KOSFX1: "Aaugh!"

KOSFX2: "Aah!"

Star KOSFX: *screams without much emotion*

Screen KOSFX: "Subscribe!"

Betoid's KOSFX: *screams*

Taunts[]

Retard[]

Up: "I'm the #1 YouTuber of all of YouTube! YOUTUBE!"

Sd: "Hey you, subscribe to my channel!"

Dn: "I'm so angry that I'm unsubscribing from Panchoso's channel!"

Betoid (which are more at Retard)[]

Up: "You think you're funny!?" Retard: "LALALALALALALALA, HILARIOUS!"

Sd: "You're an idiot, you know that?" Retard: "Yes!"

Dn: "I hate you." Retard: "I know, I'm perfect!"

Meloid[]

Up: "The world will be mine!"

Sd: "Soon everyone will kneel to the powerful and omnipotent Maloid!"

Dn: "Pathetic humans, this is why your race is sad and--I mean, I'm Batoid."

Victory Options/Failure+Clap[]

1. *leaps forth with Betoid flying around*

2. *dances alongside Beloid*

3. "I win!"

4. (vs. Critico Histerico) "Who are you?"

5. (vs. Dross) "Irate Gamer? Who is that guy? Is he an eminence in video games like me!?"

Failure/Clap: Lying down

Standard Attacks[]

TBA

Aitor Interview[]

Aitor: "Egun on guztioi, Aitor Molina talking to you. Since my boss, the wizard, is already an interviewer in another Lawl, I've been commissioned to analyze this one, so let's get to it! The first lawler is Retardgamer, played by John Miranda from Huerfano Producciones. If I have to be sincere, this man left a terrible first impression on me because, prior to this character, he did El Critico Histerio, a cheap knockoff of the Nostalgia Critic, done in sheer Irate Gamer style. He wasn't funny. He was just a Spanish translation of American memes and jokes, like ElRubiusOMG. It's sad because John Miranda is a great comedian and filmmaker when he does his own style. When I found out that he stopped imitating Doug Walker to exploit the gamer trend, I just ignored him until I watched some episodes to prepare for this commentary, and I loved it! He hits the mark parodying every gag and joke from reviews and gameplays, and he even mocks the shitty intro that shows more gameplays than the actual show. Seriously, I have those kind of intros. I'm glad he got those details right. He mispronounces the name of cartridges, like Reddy, and has all sorts of video game cameos."

Ganchito: "And even Betoid parodies the mascots done in sprites!"

Martillo Smith: *barges in* "I'm Martillo Smith! And even Betoid parodies the mascots done in sprites!"

Aitor: "Anyway, this is a good first character to start off this Lawl. Even though most of his attack end up backfiring on him, he's pretty challenging. Special thanks to Detective Enigma for hiring me as a commentator."

Classic Mode[]

TBA

Extras[]

Pawlette Swaps[]

TBA

Victory Theme[]

Retardgamer Theme

Stage[]

YouTube! YOUTUBE! - Retardgamer's Room

Relic[]

Betoid

Maloid[]

After Betoid gets KO'd for the third time, Maloid takes his place. As an asst., he's invincible. But what about his moveset? Well, his version of the Retardean plays Polybius, making opponents go into seizures. Cortometraje has him throw some Ecological Party Propaganda to an opponent, causing him/her to doze off. His NES controller can electrocute opponents at random, so it's best to use as a reversal. But even if he's more dangerous, he's actually weaker in combat. One hit, and he's dead. Next time he's called upon, Betoid comes in, asking if Retardgamer saw an evil Metroid, which results in him being confused at the question. Betoid scratches that knowing he's likely let, when suddenly, fight sequence! Retard still has no idea who is who, BTW, but after the cutscene, a boss fight begins with Maloid at 100 HP. Maloid proceeds to bash, strike slow-moving lightning, and drop bombs on players. Players can use standard and special attacks, but this is just a hit-and-chase battle through and through. After three attacks, Maloid does an evil laugh, leaving him open for an attack, causing him to retreat to another building everyone follows him to until they get to the skyscraper. Once the battle ends, Maloid is thrown off to his death (but only if Betoid ends him; otherwise it's just the screaming part). And then, everyone' back to the regular stage.

Trivia[]

This is seen as the Bill Nye of joke movesets.